Expressing Gratitude for the Butterfly Light Award Nomination

Happy Sunday, fellow bloggers. Going through my comments, I find that I have been nominated for the Butterfly Light Award by my friend Deanie Humphrys-Dunne, author of award-winning children’s book Tails of Sweetbriar.

Conditions For Accepting The Award

Here are the conditions for accepting the award :

1. You must write an acceptance post, making sure you link back to the blogger who awarded you and thank them. You MAY NOT lump this award in with a batch of other awards.

2. You must individually name and re-award to a minimum of 1 blogger. You must let them know either personally with a comment on their blog OR a pingback.

3. You must link back to Belinda’s blog either to http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/i-love-charismatic-geeks/ OR http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/about/

4. You must write a short paragraph entitled either “How I’m Spreading Light” OR “How I’m A Positive Influence”

5. Display Belinda’s lovely “Butterfly Light Award” badge on your blog.

Thanks so much, Deanie for thinking of me for this Award! It is a special one and I will treat it as such. 🙂 I’m so blessed to be able to call you my friend.

How I’m a Positive Influence

I am a positive influence by offering the best advice I can to the younger generation. Back when I was still working as an EMT, I had countless ‘kids’ who were either EMTs or paramedics half my age that came to me for advice, both personal and job related. It took me over a year of therapies after my bleed to be able to slowly start my blogging and writing adventure. I look at my WordPress site and still don’t know what half the doohickeys do, but I’ll learn. After a handful of recent heart-wrenching losses, I’m researching sites and resources, so I can make them available to others. I’ve picked up many other things along the way and share what I’ve learned freely. I believe in paying it forward; I promote other writers and artists works, so others can do the same.

I consider this to be a very special Award, and because of that, I am only nominating one blogger for it:

Jo Murphey-THE MURPHEY SAGA has inspired, motivated and, at times invisibly knocked sense back into my head whenever I would have a ‘woe is me’ day. Her Sunday stroke posts are especially helpful. I subscribe to her blog by email and read it always. I know how busy she is and don’t expect her to be able to follow the rules and guidelines required for accepting this Award. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did, though; at the end of her posts, she always ends with: “Nothing is impossible with determination.” Her faith, determination, and motivation helps fuel mine. I love her! 😀

Please be sure to check out this link:
http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/about/

Until next post, hugs!

 

 

Daily Prompt – Careless Whisper

It happens: sometimes that filter in our head bursts and we say too much of what we’re thinking and someone gets hurt. Tell us about a time you or someone you know said something that they immediately regretted.

This will be a quick post, but when I saw the subject, I couldn’t help it. The most embarrassing thing I will NEVER forget and immediately regretted, happened about seven months after I came out of the hospital and I was spending a few days with a friend.

My speech was much better, though I was still having a lot of problems with focus, and especially, my filter. Things would come out of my mouth before I could stop them, because before the bleed, I was able to control this function.  On one of these days we go to her parents house for a small barbecue and her brother was there. He is 14 at the time and of very thin build, yet his nickname is ‘Macho’.

We are all enjoying ourselves immensely and the parents are amazing with me, teaching me how to tell people off in Spanish, even with a stutter. 🙂 At some point during the barbecue, the brother was asked by his father to get something elsewhere from the yard. He told him that he couldn’t do it because whatever it was, was too heavy.

Out of nowhere, I looked up from the burger I was eating and said “I wanna know how in the world you got a nickname like Macho.” Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me in stunned silence for a second. I knew after a few seconds that I screwed up. All of a sudden ‘Papi’, as my friend calls him, burst out laughing and said something like they didn’t know either, but he had been the only boy out of four children…so they had hoped for the best.

In the end, it was all fine because they understood. Obviously, it took me a lot longer to get over, because socially awkward moments like that could happen to me at any time, any place. Thankfully, two and a half years later, I am about 80% in control of my “filter”, so it is unlikely that I will say anything unintentional unless I am exhausted, overwhelmed or extremely stressed out.

So, yeah, that was easily my most embarrassing moment in recent history. Until next post… later.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/daily-prompt-careless-whisper/

Coming Clean About My Stroke-Part6

So, I’m finally back after taking a brief two-week hiatus. I apologize for that. I’ve done most of my catching-up, but not all. I will catch up by the end of the week. It is now time for me to continue to the last few parts of my Series posts. There should be no more than three or four after this that will bring you to up to speed about how I’m doing physically, medically, emotionally and psychologically in my life today.

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The days after Christmas flew by. I was doing extremely well and, as I mentioned in Part 5, I graduated from the ‘Buzz-master’, as it affectionately came to be called. I was walking around more confidently with my walker, maneuvering the corridors like a pro. I did well on shower days and was able to wash myself with little to no assistance (of course, sitting on the shower chair). The only problem with shower days was the excruciating pain when the water hit any part of my left side. It was like fire. I was on Neurontin at the time because the doctor said it would help my ‘nerve pain’. I would take it at night before bed. At first it knocked me out. That’s about it. More on that another time.

I continued to kick butt in all my therapies. The therapists even went so far as to order my home supplies (port-o-potty-for those “I don’t think I can make it moments” (yeah, I know), shower chair, my very own walker). This development, of course, gave me hope that I would be going home in time for New Year’s, which was only a few days away. The doctor had a meeting with my case worker, my nurses, and all my therapists, and they all felt that even though I was progressing extremely quickly and doing very well, they were not comfortable enough with me going home in time for New Year’s. They all felt I needed a little more inpatient rehab time. I was upset, but not hysterically so. While I wanted to go home, I knew I still had work to do, so I didn’t fight it. I kept doing what I had to do; since the house I live in has a few stairs, that’s one thing I always did in PT, up and down the stairs.

Same in OT.  I did a great job overall, especially when it came to anything having to do with daily living – hair, teeth, shower, etc. Getting dressed wasn’t too bad as long as I wore big shirts (couldn’t lift left arm, compromise)  and tanks instead of bras (same). I could put on loose-fitting socks and pants, but I’d have to be sitting  in bed for socks and lying down for pants. It was a lot of work. I had the most trouble with the little things, buttoning small buttons, fishing out little items from the putty ball with my left hand, things like that. Although they gave me some trouble, I was able to take some of the items they gave me and work on them in my room and on my bed.

I know my precious Lhasa Apso Sophie came to visit me between Christmas and New Year’s. I love that hairy little thing so much! I don’t know what I’d do without her. She came one of the family visits. The rehab hospital allowed it every so often.

ST was giving me the most trouble. It wasn’t that I couldn’t communicate; for the most part, I could be understood clearly. My problem was my inability to find my words, to pull them out of my brain when I needed them. The problem was my inability to have simple conversations where there is a ‘change’ or a ‘conflict’ of some sort. It’s almost like in the books and stories we write. Once the ‘conflict’ came in, I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t focus, would become extremely flustered, would stutter so bad that you couldn’t understand what I was saying and would get to the point of frustration that I would burst into tears and shut down. Yup, I was going to need some work.

New Year’s Eve came and after a couple of morning therapies, the rest of the day was mine. Everyone I knew was working. I spoke to my daughter, my son-in-law and some close friends. I read a little, watched some TV, and practiced make-believe checkbook balancing and math problems. Then I watched some more TV. I think there were even some marathons going. I know I probably watched.  It had already been decided that everyone was going to do their own thing for New Year’s 2012, whether it was work, party, stay home or whatever.  I figured I was just going to watch TV and the countdown like I did when I was a kid. I didn’t even make it to the ball drop.

All of a sudden, it’s morning, it’s a new year, and I made it! Sweet. It’s a holiday and I’ve got the day all to myself and I plan; I plan for all the changes I’m going to make in 2012 and beyond. Why? Because I’m still alive. It’s now 2012 and by the grace of God, I’m still here. So, obviously, I have things to do…right?

I’m sorry Part 6 took me so long to get out to you, so I’ve already started on Part 7. Until next post, love you guys. And yes, I have a couple of between posts due; nothing like playing catchup is there? Hugs.

Related articles

• Coming Clean About My Stroke-Part5 (lilicasplace.com)
• Coming Clean About My Stroke-Part4 (lilicasplace.com)

I Think I’m Ready

A few people have asked me about my stroke and for the longest time, it was something I didn’t speak of freely unless it was to people directly involved; doctors, family, and close friends; and even to them I’ve left out a lot of intimate details of what I’ve FELT during this journey to recovery. I’ve talked about it in pretty clinical terms with everyone. Now is as good a time as any to just get it all out there. A very wise Aloha man told me once that when I was ready, I would be able to share. I’m going to do my best; although this is going to take several blog posts. I’m thinking at least four. But before I get into all of that, I think it’s important for me to discuss some events that occurred a few months before my bleed.  I guess this is my warm-up post.

I worked EMS for over a decade. In August of 2011, I ruptured my right ACL at work. I was out on Comp until I was to have surgery. I mention it so everyone is aware that I was already out of work when everything transpired.

When I used to work doubles and triples. I used a pic where I looked the most tired!!  🙂

THREE MONTHS PRIOR TO HEMORRHAGE (May or may not have been important. I will never know.)

On September 23, 2011, I was driving my roommate’s vehicle to the local convenience store (roughly 1145pm), when I was struck from behind by a speeding drunk driver. He was driving so fast that my roommate’s car wasn’t enough impact to keep him from striking the vehicle in front of me. We both hit it, according to witnesses. It caused a chain reaction; six cars were involved.

My airbags deployed, struck my face. Took out the driver’s side window with my head. Fractured my L2,3 and 4 in my lower back and sprained various muscles and bruised anything and everything in between. The car was a total loss. I was taken to the local hospital. X-rays were taken and I was given a CT scan of my head that came out CLEAN. I was admitted two days for observation and the simple fact that I couldn’t get up off the bed because of the pain in my back.

State Troopers came to the hospital for information from me and advised me that the driver was arrested. He was over twice the legal drinking limit. I was also told that I should consider myself lucky. When my vehicle was struck, the back seat (it was a Tracker, so it’s one long seat) unhinged and popped up, creating a barrier for the front. Had the barrier not been there, the Trooper told me he did not think I would have left the scene. When I saw the car a few days later, I understood exactly what he meant.

After my two-day stint at the hospital, I was given a back brace, some pain medications and told to follow-up with my doctor. That is exactly what I did. I was also referred for more physical therapy. Surgery for my knee was pushed back nearly a month since I wasn’t able to lay on my back and I continued going to physical therapy for both my knee and my back,  and hand (also injured).

It was business as usual for a while. I had my knee surgery performed on October 19th, 2011. Don’t quote me, but I believe that’s the date. It was same day surgery. I was given all the equipment and instructions I would need to help me get through the first week until I started physical therapy the following. It went well considering I was in pain a lot of time. All I knew that I had already been out of work for over two and a half months and I was desperate to go back. Plus, the holidays were coming! 🙂

This was just a brief summary of what went on the last few months before I got sick. I’m going to start my purging with my next post. I think I’m going to call it Coming Clean About My Stroke-Part1. And I suppose the posts after that will be Parts2 through whatever until I get it out of my system.

It’s time. Love you guys!

Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror

When I look in the mirror, I see

a woman, though still weak physically,

but resilient in spirit and determination,

on a journey from a deep, dark abyss,

finding a way to the promise of

healing, red flowers and Prince Charming.

©L E Blake