Hello bloggers, I’m here, trudging along, still trying to play catch-up. This is my Day 4 post…Yikes, talk about late!
Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more. Today’s twist: Make today’s post the first in a three-post series.
I’ve had so many in my life that I can’t even count them all. Some were huge, some were small, some were sad, and some I have to shake off and say to myself, just keep it moving. Because of the topic, I’m going to skip the twist and keep it as a stand alone post.
I know a few of you know about my most recent loss, Pete. He was the brother of an ex-girlfriend. He passed away in March from an intra-cranial hemorrhage that he probably didn’t even see coming. Of four people I’ve lost to hemorrhages of some kind over the past 18 months, Pete’s affected me the most.
He was like a brother, except we got along ALL the time. 😀 He was always coming to my defense and sticking up for me, especially after my brain injury. Just thinking about him makes me want to cry, but I won’t. He’s the handsome young man you see in the photo to your left. He was only 46 years old.
Throughout my recovery, I always wondered why I was spared. I questioned myself, God, the Universe, my friends, my doctors and neuro-psychologist, and always got different answers. A few people went so far as to tell me to consider myself “lucky” to be alive. Depending on how bad my pain is on any given day, I do consider myself lucky, and am grateful to be alive. However, I can do without the added dose of survivor’s guilt, thank you friends.
It dawned on me that so few people truly understand what survivors of traumatic brain injuries (TBI) go through, that Pete’s death gave me the push I needed to start another blog that will focus on my life post hemorrhage and stroke (I suffered both; the ischemic stroke happened during surgery for the ruptured aneurysm). At the same time, I want it to be a place of comfort where survivors, their caregivers, their family and friends can go to find resources and information that might be of benefit to them, even if it’s just for an understanding ear that will listen.
The blog is still in its infancy and there is so much that still needs to be done, but I’m already working on many of the pages and have sorted a lot of my research into piles that I just need to get typed in and categorized. This is where I need to familiarize myself a little better with the bells and whistles of my WP.
Though Pete is gone physically, he will always be in my heart, and he is now my inspiration for continuing to forge ahead and become a better me. I love and miss you, Pete. Thank you for always believing in me.